Friday, August 18, 2006
Medicine is a lonely journey, I wish that somebody has told me earlier. Starting the first clinical year isn't as easy as I thought, for once the "clinical" year isn't as "clinical" as I thought, oh yes we still get a lot of lecture hours, in fact even more than the pre clinical years. It's about lecturing the clinical stuff, if psychiatry can go through the whole book in 2.5hours, ophthalmology can go through everything that can go wrong about the eyes in one single hour. 8:30-5 everyday, it is worse than a working life because you are paying instead of being paid. For the past few days I can feel the energy draining through my toes like a water column. I found myself standing on the running machine, walking around in the pool and eating by myself. After the first week, I'm starting to get the hang of it, life goes on and it shouldn't be made any worse by these exogenous factors.
Hong Kongers just love to make life difficult for themselves, when everybody's talking about a 5-day working week, we're getting saturday morning classes every single week. Docs at the ward are so used to shouting at students, so that you can "learn". It's ok to get pissed if we make stupid fatal errors, but it's never OK to conduct personal attacks (which they do so regularly). They seemed to be enjoying it. Bunch of sadistic nerds. I have already mastered the skill of over-apologizing and turning the arrow back at them. That's what you learn having dealt with so many Pr firms. I also learnt how to call them a biatch while smiling and saying CHEEEESE. Looking at the graduates (the teachers?) I really don't see a lot of role models that I can learn from, they know the books, but they're plain assholes. They get their gold medals and distinctions, they get on stage to get a knock on their head, but they have failed in almost every other aspects in life. Inter-personal skills, family life. Quite a few patients don't even want to be touched by them. I think that's a shame, I don't even know if they can feel that.
So back to the same old days, it's all about learning by yourself, digging up motivation and having no expecations.
And most importantly, I'm gonna enjoy my life outside Med school.
trapped in the maze of time..6:08 AM