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and for the umpteenth time...
 
Saturday, January 15, 2005  
wow
floor orientation last nite
it was kinda stupid imo
when ppl are trying to pick on you oula nothing
and trying to apply what you don't beleive on you
and stay at that stage of highschool mindset
what they require you to follow dead rules
but don't see that you've passed that stage of brainwashing
what they believe is by forcing you to join crap, u'll learn
well that might work for an 18 yo honkie
but not me
the question is, is it really worry to sacrafice all yer time and energy
and in return, you get to bump up a balloon that willl explode by the time u graduate
yes they don't see the point of leaving this place
and what the suddnt overwheming emptiness can do to them

cuz no matter what you say
they can say that yer not open (when u show slight ocnsideration to what they think)
or they can say that yer wrong, when u say what u think
and guess what, a lot of people in the crowd don't buy that kinda theory too
and bow to peer pressure
that's the depressing thing about sjc
people lose themselves in the crowd
common goal. hell yeah.
what about you yourself. nada. you'll take ground at whereever everyone else is standing
u fail to heed what you really believe and that they're imperfect

their defition of "guts" is WRONG since they miss out integrity
their deifinition of guts is simply i-dare-you-now-follow-me
coins on yer army outfit
items on your CV. big names. no practical use
e.g. hygene consultant for toilet cleaner, lighting supervisor for window cleaner, nutrution dispatcher for mcjob cashier
they simply lost the guts to think individually and be different
they'll be really harsh to people
and do all the most obscene and bizzare things that will shock the world on CNN
they will oversee safety and health
they're turning themselves into WWII jp soldiers to some extend.
im sorry i have to say this i know this sounds really bad
integrity? gone.

good things to learn
discipline, as they always talk about
which they have none, from the fact that they cant even keep quiet after 11:30
getting all hyped up and forgetful is not an excuse
whoops, i just frigging shot u in the head cuz i forgot that'd kill you. sure.
such a good excuse
skippig classes for hall functions?
sleeping in class perpectually for most leectures?
reasons are: hall hall hall and hall
that is a failure
that is unworthy to be called a uni student
cuz u are simply not being studeous enough
you lost your priorities and revert the whole thing upside down
getting a decent grade is THE priority
result-oriented. yes. and process-oriented too. that's the reality
crazy life.
spirit
kiddy power
kiddy glory
you can get all these living in a commune
but not stuyding at the same time (unless yer doing arts, which u have too much time to waste)
they don't justify themselves with the things they do comparing to the thigns they say
big words. big ideas. big goals.
they loook up front, but they miss themselves
they follow anyway, having not to question critically the authority
they take up responsibilities
responsibilities that they arbitarily set for themselves
and for everyone else around
they wrap themselves around in chains
abusing themselves
abusing the meaning of life
tabusing themselves for THEIR meaning of life.
hall
that's it
everything else doesn't matter anymore

sjc is not like a fraternity club
which would have been a lot better if it is
at least those sigma-theta-delta (lol) don't impose rules on you 24-7
and to be honest they're a lot less communist

reminds me of the german movie Goodbye Lenin
i think everyone should watch it

i love the people in sjc
don't get me wrong
it's the system and the all hyped up madness that piss me off

call me a traitor
say that yer disappointed
call me a selfish byotch

better than a buncha blind haags

guess sjc is not a place for me
it's confirmed
out next yr
flat hunting this summer
wanna join?

trapped in the maze of time..10:06 PM


 
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