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Introduction to the Japanese Mobile Market

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and for the umpteenth time...
 
Wednesday, April 17, 2002  

hm.. saw stn thoughtful at raymond's monologue (blog, blah!). we have a hymn for that story in protestant church, but i just forgot how to sing it. *sighs* i can recall that the name is "johk yung" or "zu2 yin4".
i'm having a hard time at home today. i found mysle fin front of the puter from 10am to 1pm. i'm just kinda empty. and i don't wanna feel myself with music cuz i'd end up replaying them in my brain during examz. dang! why it's so hard to live. sometimes i don't have the freedom to do what i wanna do. i just don't have choice. i'm just a passerby-B in a crappy soap opera without oscar nominees. i'm just playing my part, i don't luv the script. i dislike the idea of figuring out what the next line is. i can't say that i hate the director. but up till now, this is no comedy. i hate who i am, and i hate what i'm doing. but i like what can't be, and i like what i can't do. this is life. love it or hate it.
so i've turned back from the biggest mistake i have ever made in my life. i broke a person's heart. i was given a harsh answer and a harsh reality to face. i'm far from lost, i know which direction i'm heading but i dunno the destination. ok. i'm not abraham, but this is even harder than being abraham, at least he knoew where he's going to. the **name** of the place. and that's stn i have no clue at all. i'm unlike jonah, i'm not heading for the oppostite direction, but i've been cursing under the plant for years. and i'm still cursing. pretty loudly.

things to do tonite
1. econ MC
2. chinese lang

i've invented a routine to torture myself in a way it is benefitial. when i'm fed up with the pastpapers i'm doing, i'll just go for 50x boo's**t-ups/40x s**t-ups/25x divings (u know how to do this?), and when yer panting, u'll be grateful for yer humane pastpapers.

trapped in the maze of time..4:13 AM


 
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